My nipple is on Facebook.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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