I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
