My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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