Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
