I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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