Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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