Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
me + whiskey = a bad person
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
