Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
