id be glad to
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
