Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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