Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
