As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he shaved USA in his pubs
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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