dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
