last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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