You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize