I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize