I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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