i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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