you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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