seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
