I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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