dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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