I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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