after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
