i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
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Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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