I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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