It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
