Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
