Im at strip club and am horny
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
