I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
