what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
