you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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