i just had sex bonerless
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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