So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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