Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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