Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
