he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
