I think i sorta joined a cult last night
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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