i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
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