You really coming over, don't trick.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize