When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
