Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
