Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
