You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
