At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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