Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
