the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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