She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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