doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize