found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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