And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
