So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Found the puke drawer
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I need a beard to bite.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
