Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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