check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize