I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
