she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
