And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
