Buhtt sex?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
