Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
