I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
