Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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