I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
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and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
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I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?