I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day