lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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